Sunday, 17 May 2015

AUTHOR SP0TLIGHT INTERVIEW - Jake Butler, True Confessions of a Male Stripper


It was such a pleasure to interview Jake Butler, the man behind True Confessions of a Male Stripper. 

Jake is an exciting and fascinating guy who writes about his experiences as a male stripper.  If you haven’t wandered over to read his blog, you should really one click now and experience it for yourself.





Name

Jake Butler

Age

40

Did you every work under an alias?  Is Jake Butler your real name? 

Jake is actually my real Christian name, but Butler is not my actual surname, I have also worked under another alias before.

So, for those of us that know a little bit about you, you say you fell into male stripping unexpectedly.  Can you give our followers a little bit more info on how it all started for you?   Then how your writing came about after that?

Certainly! As detailed in my very first ever writing, the background of me starting stripping was quite amusing, given that my big mouth effectively dropped me into a situation where I was unable to back myself out. Long story short - a female work colleague of mine had been having trouble finding an ‘entertainer’ for a hen night she was organising and kind of half asked/half dared me to step in to help her out. An over enthusiastic dose of male bravado sealed my fate!

What does your writing process look like?  Do you need complete quiet or do you like to write to music?  Do you write in anything specific?

I usually take myself off to my favourite coffee shop, pick a quiet corner and hook into some music. I believe my last confession was written to a background of lattes, Vivaldi & Mozart - how sophisticated am I ?!? 

Where do you write?  What writing tools do you use?  Any writing rituals?

As above - no tools. Just me, caffeine and my iTunes!
I bet you think twice about whether that guy sitting quietly beavering away in the corner of your local cafe might actually be me, the next time you queue for you takeaway coffee! ;-)

Do you have any strange writing habits?

I don't think so! (Although I have caught myself whispering the words that I am actually typing once or twice!)

Do you consider or see yourself as a writer?

At very best I see myself as an amateur newcomer! I love the process but am still working hard to make sure each confession is an improvement on the ones before. I concentrate on trying hard to improve the flow, content, structure, grammar and reader engagement all the time.

How long does it typically take you to write a confession?

Around 2 or 3 hours, depending on the length of confession. 

Do you enjoy comments/questions/feedback from your followers?

I love them (in fact it's my most favourite part of the entire process). As I'm still a newbie, I try to take each comment and item of feedback and turn it into a learning opportunity. That being said, it's the best feeling in the world to get a hugely complimentary piece of feedback, and I'm constantly flattered by them.

Have you always enjoyed writing?  Do you find it creative?

I've never written at all before (apart from at school), so didn't really view that as an overly creative process at the time.  I’m enjoying this much more than schoolboy essays though! :-)


What's your favourite / least favourite part of writing?  OR  What do you enjoy most about writing?

Finalising an improved confession and then receiving feedback and commentary are certainly my favourite parts of the writing process. It's also great to reminisce and recreate amazing memories and experiences for both myself and in turn, my readers.

Where do you think your love for telling this story comes from?

Well, I loved stripping itself so it's not a surprise to me that I've personally enjoyed writing as much as I have!

Have you come across any other writings like your own?

None at all to date. Hopefully I've found a unique little spot with my writing (in much the same way I did with my stripping!)

How/where did you market yourself as a stripper? 

Initially my bookings came about simply as a result of being referred on by people who had seen me perform. Once I realised that there was actually a viable market for my services, I started using social media (primarily Facebook) to advertise my service.

Is there a lot of work in this industry for males?  

Gosh, that’s a hard one to answer. I guess I tried to pitch myself into the market place in a slightly different space than most of the other males I came across in the business, who were all just dancing/stripping in 30 minute slots. I tried to combine, classy, gentlemanly respectful waitering services with a naughty strip show option, rolled up into a full evenings booking. I soon got a sense that no one else was really combining the two offerings, which in essence drove my line of business.

Do you see the industry as seedy or classy?

Hhhhmmm… regrettably, in my experience, more seedy than classy. I worked a couple of big ladies night events with other male strippers and left both events feeling that what they did and how they went about it, was a million miles away from what I was trying to do.

Is the money good?  

It depends on your definition of ‘good’. In all honesty, (and this probably sounds contrite), I never really did it for the money. In fact I was so bad, there were a few occasions where I refused to take all of the cash based on the evening not working out as exactly as I’d planned. I 110% genuinely did it because I enjoyed it, and not for the money. I think I actually got a lot of referrals as people would tell me how sexy it was watching a guy who was obviously genuinely into doing it, rather than just going through the motions in an entirely detached fashion.

Would you recommend it to others?

Well, it is likely high on the fantasy list of many a male, but there are things you need to take in your stride. Being grabbed, scratched, bitten and slapped are some of the more obvious hazards of the job, but it did somewhat amaze me how rude some people could be at times. I’m pretty cool with being seen simply as a piece of meat (in fact I confess that it often, at times turns me on), but this doesn’t mean that your clients should totally disregard all notion of respect, politeness and etiquette. I was also astounded at how frequently girls became horribly competitive with one another about securing my attention during a show.  I think a lot of all this however, comes down to the fact that I’m a very old fashioned person when it comes to how you deal with other people.

Are there any issues with STD’s? 

I never once offered sex as a service in any of my shows (despite flatteringly being asked about it a few times). That said, yes, there obviously is a need to exercise caution and hygiene doing what I did, so I would religiously get tested every 6m (and happily returned a clean bill of health throughout my entire career)!

Do you spend a lot of time on your appearance – gym etc?

I actually hate the gym, and never ever go. That said, I work out with an amazing PT a couple of times a week and play team sports also whenever I can.

How many years were you a male stripper?

I started in 2003, and did my last show in 2013. So 10 years in all. However, since I have started blogging I have received numerous enquiries about bookings, and am actually considering a brief return from ‘retirement’ for an event in a couple of weeks’ time!


How in control do you need to be at one of these parties?

Mentally 100%… It’s a case of having eyes in the back of your head and also knowing who’s who in your crowd. Normally I tried to do smaller groups (up to 20 ladies), and used the waitering portion of my booking, to chat to them all individually and to get to know everyone. This then helps you better understand who is likely to be more shy and retiring (or alternatively, more of a handful), once I started ‘performing’. In terms of control in my performances, you could ratchet that up to 200%! My party trick was the climax on countdown, so if I was booked for a xxx rated show, I’d quite often be requested to stay hard for the duration of the show, until the countdown completed at the end. Nailing an orgasm on the ’N’ of Now when you’ve been hard for 2.5 hours takes some doing!

In your opinion, what qualities make a good male stripper?

I’ll be controversial here - it’s got nothing to do with looks, routine, dancing ability or even how well-endowed you are. It’s simply about manners, professionalism, being a gentleman and ensuring that your clients get exactly what they booked you for, and not a tiny bit less. Even in the most difficult circumstances, it’s essential to treat everyone like a Princess.

How long have you been retired for?

It’s been 2 years since I last took a booking. 

What would you say is the biggest pro and con about this industry?

Wow - the pro’s are numerous... I’d always fantasised about being naked in front of a group of females, so that’s a huge pro. Furthermore (and this may sound very weird indeed) I sometimes lack self-confidence, so it really helped my self-esteem, and really made me feel sexy and desired. I also love making people feel important, listened to, appreciated and acknowledged, so I really enjoyed the interactive parts of my bookings where I would wait on people and chat and mingle. It’s amazing how cool that can be just chatting and flirting away with a group of girls who all know that they are going to see you naked before the end of the night.
There’s only one real con (you learn to take most other things in your stride) but it does get a little frustrating the number of ‘time wasters’ that it seems to attract. People who want to swap endless emails, hit you with a barrage of questions but really have no genuine intention of booking you at all. Oh, and late cancellations drive me insane as well (especially when you have travelled inter-state for the booking! - but this only happened to me once!).

How long have you been writing about your experiences?

Only a couple of months, although I had been considering it for a while longer.

Were you ever nervous during your time as a male stripper?  Are you nervous about people reading you work or blog now?

I can honestly say that I was shaking life a leaf (at least internally) for every single booking I ever took. Nerves are part and parcel of the business, and I think that once you start getting complacent it’s time to consider whether you should carry on. I always felt that some nerves kept me on my toes and ensured I brought my A game.

How do you keep you lives separate?  Is it difficult keeping both parts of your life in control?

Extremely difficult. I was constantly mindful of the fact that one of my corporate contacts/clients could be at an event at which I was performing. I took as much opportunity as possible to limit the risk of this. Things like asking for the names of the guests, only performing at private events, limiting the number of performances I did in places such as pubs/clubs etc. Obviously using an alias also helped (as well as only ever posting body shot pictures on my Facebook page).

How open are you about that part of your life?  Do your friends and family know? Did they support you?

None of my friends and family know. I think they’d laugh, then possibly cry, then ostracise me forever! Seriously though, I’d always thought it better to keep this to myself. Literally only one person (my PT) knows about both sides of my life, and she thinks it’s absolutely awesome!

Has it affected your relationships with friends/family?

No, as none of them know.

What about relationships with women, has it affected them?  How do you deal with it?

My PT was very supportive, loved hearing my stories and encouraged me all the way. I met a couple of girls at events that I kept in touch with and had brief relationships with, but they really only knew Jake the stripper, not Jake the non-stripper. In all honesty, I actually found it harder than they did (despite one of them really loving the fact that I’d be entertaining all these women but going away from the show with her). I found it tricky performing at shows they attended, and would most certainly consider that the whole stripping thing is a lot easier if you are not in a relationship.

What has inspired or motivated you to write about these real life experiences?  Explain what drew you to put pen to paper?

As I mentioned, I was thinking about writing for a little while, but in essence a female friend of mine I’d been talking extensively to online pushed me into finally writing something about it. I think I’d have likely procrastinated about it forever, had it not been for her, so she has to take all the credit! (Thanks Rosy! x).

Is it easy for you to write about you past and these experiences?  

I actually really enjoy writing about them. It brings back some great memories, and I still laugh about some of the awful things that happened (even though I didn’t at the time!). The hardest bit about it all is simply finding the time to sit down and put 2 or 3 hours into writing something that flows, isn’t too long winded and captures the event in an appropriate way.


Do you write full time or part time?  How much time do you put aside for writing?

Part time… I try to fit in and around my ‘proper job’ and other personal commitments.

Do you have a mentor that you turn to for help with writing?

Not really, although I have a couple of people whom I respect greatly, that I take counsel from in terms of bouncing ideas around, and planning next steps.

Do you find it easy or hard to write about your past and experiences?

Really easy, and lots of fun!

Having started your blog, do you think you could move into putting these experiences into a book? 

Yes I have actually. I’ve really been blown away at the feedback and support I’ve received on the writings I have completed to date. I’d love to pull some of this together into book form and just see where it goes. I’m currently contemplating starting an e-book - so please do watch this space!

I think I’m a little unique in that I’m writing accounts of things that actually happened rather than fiction (which seems to be the most popular form of erotic writing these days).

What are your thoughts?  Do you think people would find it interesting?

I’m astounded at how well received my writing has been so far. I hoped it would appeal, but the extent to which it appears to have has shocked, surprised & delighted me!

When you write about your experiences – how does it make you feel?  Does it bring back memories and make your feelings return from that moment?

Yes, it very much has. I’ve laughed, blushed, cringed and even found myself getting an erection as I’ve recounted and written about certain moments of the events I’m summarising.

Obviously you are writing about your real experiences.  Your own research has gone into putting these in writing. Do you enjoy writing about your erotic experiences?  Tell us how your “research” at the time made you feel – and how you interpret them in writing.

I just write about what happened - nothing more, nothing less. I try to be as honest as I can in terms of how I was feeling, and how a certain experience played out in my mind (and body) at that time. Obviously I change the names of the girls involved in my stories, but everything is as it happened (and I’ve been super flattered to have received comments on my blog from people who have read a story and were actually at the exact event that I have written about!).

How erotic do your experiences get?  Can you give us a little sneak peak of something new?

Gosh… I think some of my more recent stories have been pretty risqué. Some of the events I am still to write about are equally naughty (if not more-so), but also funnier, more incredible, and I think will bring a different angle to the reader. I’m currently writing in chronological order, and as I began to get more comfortable with stripping, I started taking 1-1 bookings (which were often very intimate & may appeal to a lot of readers).

I’m sure you have met many people in this industry and in your line of work.  Can you tell us of any one particular person who left an impression on you during one of your performances?

I wrote about Tracy at Harriet’s party (my last confession), and she certainly left an impression on me. She was very attractive to my physically, but was so rude, drunk and pushy, I found myself wanting to deny her rather than to give into what she wanted (and in some way I suspect, from a purely physical angle, what I wanted too).  I mentioned earlier that there were a couple of girls I met at events that I started a relationship with, so they also (obviously) left very positive impressions on me.

Have you ever performed for any celebrity?

No I haven’t…. I’d likely be star struck though, and probably go to pieces (especially if it was someone hot!).

What is the weirdest request you have received at one of your performances?

Oh my…. I didn’t take the booking (for obvious reasons), but I had an enquiry from 3 ‘dominant female friends’ who had a fantasy about tying a guy up and peeing over him!

What is the strangest question you have been asked at a performance?

Nothing really springs to mind immediately, but having said that I’ve had quite a lot of ‘surreal’ discussions with girls at events I’ve done. I guess the most frequently asked question I received was ‘how do you manage to cum on countdown like that?’ - to which I always answered - ‘lots of practice!’ *blush*

Are you a lover of books?  If so, do you have a favourite author or book & what types of books do you like to read in general? 

I love reading, and always have a book on the go. I just wish I had more time as I simply devour a book when I have an hour or two to spend with one. I’m reading lots of history and autobiographical stuff currently, but can’t say that I have one standout favourite author.

If your story was made into a movie, who would play you in the leading role?  

OMG - that made me laugh just thinking about it…. hhmmm how about Daniel Craig or Clive Owen? (I was going to say Matthew McConaghey but realised he’s already done Magic Mike).

What is the one thing you want to be known for?

In relation to stripping I was affectionately referred to as the ‘Countdown King’ by a few of the girls who watched me regularly. All joking aside though, I think I’d take the most pleasure from knowing that people respected me, thought I brought class and some intelligence to the events that I did, and treated all my clients with respect and professionalism.
In many ways I feel the same about my writing - I’d like to be thought of as someone who was honest, transparent, entertaining and who worked hard to improve and constantly engage his readers.

What are the most surprising things you learned about yourself while writing?

I can’t honestly say I was at all surprised. I suspected before I started that I would enjoy the process, and I have wholeheartedly. That said, I still genuinely can’t believe that I found myself stripping and doing the things that I did for so many years!


What advice would you give your younger self?

Think less, and be bolder & braver!

What’s in store for you in 5 years’ time?

My ‘real job’ is pretty intense and I’m working hard at further developing myself in that area. I’m also pursuing a couple of personal interests quite aggressively, so I’d like to see myself rounding out in these areas too.

If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything from you past?  Do you have any regrets? 

No… not really. I think I’m lucky in that when my time comes I’ll look back fondly and be able to content myself with the fact that I had an awesome time, and did most of what I wanted to do in the right way!

What is the best way for readers/fans to get in touch with you?

Yes, say Hi! I’d love to hear from anyone who wants to get in touch :) 

Feel free to read and comment at my blog: jakebutler67.wordpress.com, email me at: jakebutler67@yahoo.com.au or see me on Twitter: @JakeB_CFNM

Can you tell me what motivates you in everyday general life?

It sounds boring but just being the best that I can be at whatever I do.

What do you do when you are looking to have a bit of fun?

Haha… find a naughty playmate and go to a party/event or do something together with them which ticks something else off of our respective naughty wish lists!

How do you relax?

I love listening to music, reading and (terrible as it sounds - having an early night if I can! - sleep is so under rated!!).

What is your favourite holiday destination?

Somewhere with a beach, clear water and a spa so I can have a massage every day!
 
What would be your ideal date?

Something very classy….Cocktails, dinner and an expensive hotel room!

Who would be your ideal/dream date?

Shamefully I have to admit to having a huge soft spot for the pornstar Stoya. She’s so, so sexy and very, very intelligent too. I love the way that both my mind and body are reduced to jelly when I watch her.

Have you ever been arrested?  Reason?

Noooo - NEVER!

Have you been a victim of internet trolls or been stalked online?

Yes I have - not nice!

Give us 3 quirky facts about you?

Here are my 3 best stripper related facts:

1 - I hate my cum face but am constantly told it’s very sexy.

2 - A group of 60 something ladies at an event I was performing underwear waiter duties, beckoned me over to their table, introduced themselves to me and advised me that they would be calling me ‘suitcase’ all evening - on the account of the fact that I was ‘nicely packed’ - hilarious!

3 - I once escaped an event I was performing at by climbing out of the bathroom window. 2 girls had a fight and the police were called!

Which famous person, living or dead, would you like to meet and why?

Wow… tough question. I fear my first choice (being unusual) might give me a way a little to anyone reading this who might know ‘non stripper Jake’, so I’ll settle for the cocktails, dinner and hotel room with Stoya! 


How do you like your women?  Describe the perfect woman for you?

Intelligent, articulate, open minded and adventurous. I wouldn’t say I have a type (I’m not an exclusively blonde or brunette type of guy), but physically I love eyes, lips, legs and bums. I’ve got a little bit of a thing for girls in glasses too!

Do you know any celebrities? 

Yes! (I’m not saying anything else).

Have you ever masturbated while reading a book?

Yes (again)! Reading can be very erotic.

Have you ever masturbated in public?

I was once feeling extremely horny early one morning on a business trip to Adelaide. I’d just showered, and confess that I openly stood in my hotel window, allowed my towel to fall to the floor and began masturbating whilst a woman walked past on her way to work. She did see me… stopped for a second or two….. smirked and walked on….. I found it incredibly sexy…

What’s your one fantasy you have not experienced?

This is an absolute shocker but I have 2 really naughty fantasies. You might want to make sure you are sitting down before reading on! :-)

The first involves me sitting under a table, with a tablecloth which falls all the way to the floor, in a hotel suite. There are four chairs around the table. I hear the door open and the sound of stiletto’s walking across the wooden floorboards. Soon a girl sits at each of the chairs. All I can see is that each girl is wearing heels and stockings - nothing else. I’m instructed to orally pleasure each girl in turn, making them cum before moving onto the next. No other words are spoken and I have no idea who the girls are and what they look like. All I know is that they all get up and leave after I have made the fourth & final girl climax.

The second is probably naughtier… I’m the straightest man in the world but I fantasise about 3 girls with strap ons taking turns on me. Once again an element of rotation is involved. One girl fucks me with her strap on, the second sits on my face, the third sucks me…. I’m not allowed to cum myself and the girls each move round one position once I’ve made the girl sitting on my face cum.

I think I’m going to hell… right?

What is one experience you will never forget?

My first booking as a waiter/stripper!

Has a particular experience made you so horny that you have had to relieve yourself one way or another?  Can you elaborate?

The hotel window in Adelaide was one. My second ever booking for Becky’s birthday party was another…. since then there have been many more. I’m a very sexual person and love to masturbate (as I said, I’m sure I’m going to hell!) :-)

What’s your favourite sexual position?

I love to have sex in numerous positions…. from behind is raw, hot and deep. I confess that I love to spank and girl and grab a handful of her hair. I like missionary too as eye contact is incredibly sexy, plus I can pin a girl down or even put my hands on her neck and throat (if that’s what she likes). Flipping a girl on her side can also be delicious as you can really hit the spot!

Have you lived out any of your sexual fantasies?  If so, would you elaborate?

Stripping itself was always a fantasy of mine, so yes, that’s a huge tick in the box. I’ve also been to a few very classy, and high end swingers events. I love to watch and be watched (although I’m not one for swapping at all). I’ve had MMF and FFM threesome too which was delicious and very, very sexy!

Have you done anything illegal and not been caught?

Never - I’m a good boy!

Do you use toys in the bedroom?

Yes! I love using toys and think it’s really sexy to include them. A high quality vibrator is a must in the bedroom. I also once used a Clone-a-Willy kit to produce an exact replica mould of myself. I’d have incredible, connected, passionate sex with the girl until I was close to cumming, then pull out and fuck her with the Clone-a-Willy, then swap back and so forth. It was so erotic.

Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?

The disabled bathroom at a police station! (and no, I wasn’t there because I was in trouble!).

Where was the most exciting place you had sex?

Probably at one of the swingers events. It was like a party at the Playboy mansion. Gorgeous people everywhere having very hot sex.

Have you ever been to a BDSM club?  If so, what was that experience like?

Yes I have… It was different. I was a bit weirded out by it, but it was many moons ago and I suspect I would enjoy it much more now if I was to choose to go again.

Have you participated at a BDSM club or just watched?

I just watched - rather like a rabbit stuck in the headlights of an oncoming truck!

Have you ever had a threesome?

Yes! (and believe you me, I thank my lucky stars for the times I have!).


How many women have you “serviced”?

Serviced as in performed for? - wow - possibly 3 or 4 hundred? As I mentioned earlier, I’ve never had full sex at an event I have performed at. Serviced as in had them perform oral sex on me as part of the show? - probably about 30? I also confess that I have had sex with 3 girls (not together) after shows back at my hotel room. That said, I’m normally so tired and drained after a party that I usually go back to my hotel, order room service and find myself asleep before it arrives!

How many women have serviced you at one time?

I’ll go with ‘serviced as part of my show’ - I think I had about 5 girls perform oral on me at one particular event I did.

Have you ever been bi-curious?

Never - I have performed numerous events with other guys though. It’s quite the trick to ‘zone out’ from a guy stood right next to you who is also masturbating for a crowd of women!

If you had a choice would you choose – flogger, blindfold, handcuffs, restraints, rope, whips, cane?

Rope and handcuffs please - now? who’s volunteering? ;-)